TWID - Dog Days of August Edition

Seldom a day late but never a dollar short, This Week in Death brings you: An ocean of news rivaled only by the Midwest floods in volume. Don't worry, we promise not to flood your basement, only your inbox. Take one more trip with us down to the beach. For the last week of summer, get those floaties and beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Don't forget to bring a towel! Last one in is a rotting corpse!

" Life is for Living," says Coldplay. "Health is for Updates" says TWID...

Graham's Golden Ages Crumbling, Can Soon Ask God "How Do You Cram All That Me?"
Evangelist Billy Graham experienced a third intestinal bleed Wednesday, but doctors say he remains in fair condition. Physicians plan more definitive tests to determine the cause and source of the bleeds. Graham, 88, has been hospitalized since an initial bleed Saturday.Graham, who suffers from a variety of ailments including Parkinson's disease and age-related macular degeneration, has been largely confined to his home in recent years.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,294136,00.html

Pavaroti Departs Modena, Too Sick to Journey to Mecca?
Ailing Italian opera star Luciano Pavarotti has been discharged from hospital in northern Modena where he was admitted more than two weeks ago with a fever, the hospital said on Saturday. Pavarotti will "be able to continue to convalesce in the serenity of his family surroundings, where he can count on the close collaboration of the doctors of the Department of Oncology and Haematology," it said.
http://www.news24.com/News24/Entertainment/Celebrities/0,,2-1225-2108_2171113,00.html

Castro joins Tupac, Biggie, and Cobain as (Possibly) Posthumous Publisher
Fidel Castro signed a lengthy essay published Sunday saluting a Cuban political figure but the 81-year-old gave no hint of how he is feeling, even amid rampant rumors of his death. Castro has not been seen in public in over a year and has not even appeared in official photographs or video footage since taping an interview with Cuban state television June 5.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/08/26/cuba.castro.ap/index.html

Is it Because We Suck at Soccer?
Former Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona on Sunday said he hates the United States "with all my strength" during an appearance on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's weekly television show. The leftist soccer legend, like the fiercely anti-U.S. Chavez, is a close ally of Cuba's Fidel Castro.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/19/AR2007081900996.html

Comatose Sharon: "Consider me an Object;" No Word on if He'll be Hanging Upside Down or Where he Will Swing
Former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon remains comatose and attached to a respirator nearly two years after a devastating stroke, a spokesman for Sheba Medical Center near Tel Aviv said Sunday. "There is no change in his condition," hospital spokesman David Weinberg said. Sharon, 79, was transferred to Sheba's long-term respiratory rehabilitation unit in July 2006 from Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem, which treated him after his stroke in January of that year.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/26/AR2007082600527.html

"Death is Point(s)less"...

Griffin's Crash Scene More Gruesome to Watch than Deuce Bigalow - Norbit Double Feature
Former Minnesota Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin died last week when his sport utility vehicle collided with a freight train in a fiery crash, the Harris County medical examiner's office said Tuesday. Investigators used dental records to identify Griffin, 25, who was waived by the Timberwolves in March."The cause of death and manner of death, which also includes toxicology results, is pending," said Beverly Begay, chief investigator for the Harris County Medical Examiner's office.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2985307

Too Many Brewskies for Brewster, Too Much Live for His Liver
Daniel Baugh Brewster, 83, a decorated Marine Corps veteran and former Democratic U.S. senator from Maryland whose career was shadowed by alcoholism and a charge of accepting an illegal gratuity, died Aug. 19 of liver cancer at his home in Owings Mills, Md. "He served his country in war and in peace. Although brought low by alcoholism, he overcame that illness to lead a successful and productive life," Steny Hoyer said in a statement.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/20/AR2007082001813.html

A TWID Haiku: Beloved Poet, And World Famous Novelist. Say Goodnight Gracie.
Poet and short story writer Grace Paley, a literary eminence and old-fashioned rebel who described herself as a "combative pacifist," has died. She was 84. A published writer since the 1950s, Paley released only a handful of books over the next half century, mostly short stories and poems. Her fiction, although highly praised, competed for time with work, activism, family and friends. "None of it happened, and yet every word of it is true," she once said of her fiction.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/books/08/23/obit.paley.ap/

This is the Sound of Settling: Death Cab for Betty
Betty Matas, the Queens woman who made national headlines in April when she and her husband took a cross-country taxi ride to their new retirement home in Sedona, Ariz., died on Monday in Cottonwood, Ariz. She was 75. Betty and Bob Matas hired a New York cabdriver, Douglas Guldeniz, to drive them the 2,500 miles to Sedona to spare their two cats a trip in an airplane cargo hold. Both of the Matases had spent their lives in the New York area, and neither had ever learned to drive.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/23/nyregion/23matas.html

"Go Sox Go, Go Sox Go! Hey Chicago What Do You Say? Sox are Gonna Die Today!"
Charles Albert "Chuck" Comiskey II, grandson and namesake of the Chicago White Sox founder and a former front-office executive and co-owner during the "Go Go Sox" years in the 1950s, has died. He was 81. While his family name is one of the best-known in Chicago sports history, Comiskey left his own mark in helping to successfully remake the team en route to its first American League pennant in 40 years in 1959.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2993932


This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death

Happy Birthday to:
August 22: Ray Bradbury (87)
August 25: Sean Connery (77)
August 25: Van Johnson (91)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

Every week, TWID publishes the Top 5 leaders in the standings. Two numbers are listed alongside the team names: the points total, and the number of deaths recorded to date. While the winner of the pool is obviously the one who scores the most points, picking a high number of deaths should certainly be acknowledged. To date, Kraut's Picks, currently 3rd in points, has the highest number of points deaths, with 7. Following him with 6 deaths each are points leader El Esta Adead , Go to Hell (7th in points), Life's a Bitch (8th), and Mine are the Deadest (12th). That's right - the 1st-place team and 12th-place team have recorded the same amount of deaths. The difference is El Esta Adead's deaths include one solo shot for 20 and a pair of 15-pointers. Mine are the Deadest's largest score was 15, and the next-highest score was 7.5. Meanwhile a pair of teams with 4 deaths recorded are 4th and 5th in the standings. Points per death, as determined by popularity of the pick, obviously plays a huge role in the standings, something worth thinking about as DP 2007 heads into the fall stretch and DP 2008 preparations begin.

No points deaths this week means no change in the Top 5, who remain...

1. El Esta Adead - 76 points (6 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Kraut's Picks - 57.1 points (7 deaths)
4. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
5. Die Hard - 46 points (4 deaths)


Will people continue to die? Will TWID continue to come up with funny headlines for them??? Tune in next week — same Death-time, same Death-channel!
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Lemonade Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: A welcome relief from the summer heat! Hop a fence with us and join in on the fun. Get your beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Jump in so we can catch you up on the veritable ocean of news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. Don't forget to bring a towel! There's still plenty of room for everyone, especially for the next few days. Last one in is a rotting corpse!

We bid farewell to three New York icons this week: Phil Rirruto (those are z's), who sanctified many cows in his career, though probably not among them was Leona Helmsley, a notoriously bitter miser, especially when compared to Brooke Astor, who by all accounts was a gregarious, generous GILF.

A toast: Here's to your Health Updates...

Manager and Wife Clash: Should He Stay or Should He Go?
Luciano Pavarotti has been given the go-ahead by doctors to leave the hospital where he was admitted last week with a fever, but he plans to remain for a few more days just to be sure, his wife said Tuesday. Manager Terri Robson had said in an e-mail to The Associated Press that Pavarotti, 71, would be leaving the hospital in Modena "imminently" after doctors had "happily given him the go-ahead to leave hospital and resume his summer holiday." Later in the day, however, the opera superstar's wife, Nicoletta Mantovani, told reporters outside the clinic that he had chosen to remain for a few more days because he feels more tranquil there than at home, the ANSA news agency reported.
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2007/08/14/ap4019801.html

Graham Growing Closer to God Every Day
Hospital officials say evangelist Billy Graham had an "excellent night" and is in fair condition today as he recovers from an intestinal bleed. The 88-year-old evangelist is being treated at Mission Health & Hospitals in Asheville, North Carolina. No date has been set for Graham's release, but family members say they hope his hospital stay will be brief. On his web site, Graham writes, "God doesn't want our relationship with Him to be like this, and He has provided us with everything we need to grow closer to Him every day."

http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=3500491&page=1

Johnson's Brain Back at Full Throttle, Anxious to Filbuster
South Dakota Sen. Tim Johnson will face his constituents for the first time since suffering a brain hemorrhage last December, making a long-awaited public appearance in his home state later this month. Johnson, a Democrat, will appear in Sioux Falls on Aug. 28, his office announced Thursday. He is expected to return to the Senate in September.
http://www.siouxcityjournal.com/articles/2007/08/17/news/south_dakota/88e7512da63424468625733a000cfb5e.txt

Why Is This Man Happy? Because He's 368 in Dog Years
For a minute I'm trying to remember whether I've come to see Jack LaLanne or Robin Williams. But I learn a lot from LaLanne - quick. First, he's 92, not 180. And this guy could bench-press me. With one hand. Turns out I'm the proverbial 98-pound weakling, facing down the 92-year-old he-man. "The Jack LaLanne Show" aired for 34 years. What kept them tuning in? LaLanne says he tried to get fans to think positively by peppering his fitness instruction with cheery aphorisms ("Train for life like an athletic event!"). He also made fitness fun—even bringing pets on the show. Clad in his trademark jumpsuit, LaLanne did crunches, then his dog, Happy, did tricks. "It kept the ratings up," he recalls.
http://www.mercurynews.com/opinion/ci_6646737?nclick_check=1

Sometimes, though, you're just toast. Death...

Grand Papa Roach Squished by the Foot of God
Max Roach, the master percussionist whose rhythmic innovations and improvisations defined bebop jazz during a wide-ranging career where he collaborated with artists from Duke Ellington to rapper Fab Five Freddy, has died after a long illness. He was 83. The self-taught musical prodigy died Wednesday night at an undisclosed hospital in Manhattan, said Cem Kurosman, spokesman for Blue Note Records, one of Roach's labels. What distinguished Roach from other drummers were his fast hands and ability to simultaneously maintain several rhythms. By layering different beats and varying the meter, Roach pushed jazz beyond the boundaries of standard 4/4 time. His dislocated beats helped define bebop.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/16/obit.roach.ap/index.html

Leave it to Deaver. Um...Deaver Left
Michael K. Deaver, who arranged some of Ronald Reagan's most memorable photographic backdrops for public consumption and privately gave the president blunt, sometimes contrarian advice, died yesterday at his home in Bethesda, Md. He was 69. The cause was pancreatic cancer, his family said. Mr. Deaver was widely known for creating photo ops that showed Reagan atop the Great Wall of China, at the cliffs of Normandy and filling sandbags to show concern after a Louisiana flood. And he played a central role in planning Reagan's funeral in 2004; the last visual was burial as the sun set over the Pacific Ocean.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/19/washington/19deaver.html

Behind Every Good Woman's Death Is a Goodman
Carolyn Goodman, 91, the mother of one of three civil rights workers killed by the Ku Klux Klan in the renowned "Mississippi Burning" case, died Aug. 17, it was reported from New York. No cause of death was reported. Mrs. Goodman's son Andrew was killed June 21, 1964, in central Mississippi's Neshoba County, along with fellow civil rights workers Michael Schwerner and James Chaney. Carolyn Goodman was a psychologist who founded a program to help mothers leaving mental hospitals learn parenting skills. She set up the Andrew Goodman Foundation in 1966 to carry on her son's legacy.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/17/AR2007081702213.html

Phake Peter Pan who Phone Pranked a Peck of Peculiar Phreaks has Passed
A blind genius known as the "Peter Pan of phone hackers" because he insisted on being five years old forever has died in Minneapolis at the age of 58. Joe Engressia, who legally changed his name to Joybubbles in 1991, played a pivotal role in the 1970s subculture of "phone phreaks" after discovering at a young age that he could make free phone calls by whistling tones, The New York Times reported Monday. The precursors of today's computer hackers, the reign of phone phreaks ended when digitalization replaced the tone-based system.
http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2007/08/20/genius_phone_hacker_dead_at_58/4813/

This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death

Happy Birthday to:
August 14: Earl Weaver (77)
August 17: W. Mark Felt (94)
August 19: Bill Clinton (61)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

The last two weeks, Skinny Dipping has looked at age extremes and age breakdown by 10-year intervals. In this thrilling final installation of looking closer at dates of birth, we present a quick glance at a breakdown by the month of birth. Legend has it (or, possibly reported in many news outlets) that there are more births during summer than any other season. Well what about DP's 272 picks with known birth dates? (9 have known birth years but not dates, 2 have neither) Here's the breakdown --- January: 27; February: 24; March: 30; April: 19, May: 18; June: 18; July: 30; August: 21; September: 22; October: 29; November: 15; December: 19. That's 70 in the winter months, 67 in the spring, 69 in the summer, and 66 in the fall. So while the commonfolk may breed more in the heat of summer, it is clear that celebrities are more evenly proportioned. Oh, and since you were wondering: the most popular date of birth among the pool picks is July 4th, celebrated by an astonishing six people. Al Davis, the recently departed Leona Helmsley, Pauline Phillips, Alfredo Di Stéfano , George Steinbrenner, and Gloria Stuart all share a birthday with our nation. The rest of the pool is obviously less patriotic.

Three points-deaths this week, who's up for a change in the Top 5? We are! Kraut's Picks, a recent addition to the Top 5, has jumped two spots since we last checked in. The 5...

1. El Esta Adead - 76 points (6 deaths)
2. The Ex-Parrots - 58.5 points (5 deaths)
3. Kraut's Picks - 57.1 points (7 deaths)
4. Yiz-score - 54.3 points (4 deaths)
5. Die Hard - 46 points (3 deaths)


Come sail away, as next week our full boat returns...
The Commissioner's Council

TWID - Road Trip Edition

This Week in Death brings you: A welcome relief from the summer heat! Hop a fence with us and join in on the fun. Get your beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Jump in so we can catch you up on the veritable ocean of news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. Don't forget to bring a towel! There's plenty of room for everyone, especially during the next week and a half. Death Pool has just been handed an urgent news story and it needs all of you to stop what your doing and listen... Cannonball!


We may not have it all, but at least we have our Health Updates...

Don't Worry, Your Job'll Be Waiting for You When You Get Back. Get better, George! Get betteeeeeeeeer!!!!!
New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is in ailing health, according to a lengthy story about him in the upcoming issue of Portfolio magazine. "He doesn't look all right. In fact, he looks dreadful," reporter Franz Lidz writes in the story, which hits newsstands Aug. 15. "Steinbrenner's face, pale and swollen, has a curiously undefined look." Lidz recounts a visit to Steinbrenner's home with Tom McEwen, a longtime Steinbrenner friend, in which Steinbrenner answers a series of different questions, including inquiries about his wife, Joan, by saying, "Great to see ya, Tommy."
http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=249916

Biggs' iPod Playlist Update: Artist - The Strokes; Album - Is This It? Song: Alone, Together
Ronnie Biggs, one of the masterminds of Britain's Great Train Robbery in 1963, is making a renewed bid to be released from jail on compassionate grounds, his lawyers said on Friday. The 77-year-old, who is partially paralyzed and can barely speak after suffering several strokes, wants to spend his remaining years with his family.
http://iafrica.com/news/worldnews/343114.htm

Richie Fetus Enters Fourth Month of Involuntary Hunger Strike

Pregnant reality TV star Nicole Richie was reportedly rushed to hospital recently, fearing she was suffering a miscarriage. The 25-year-old noticed bleeding and worried she would lose her baby at the end of last month, just after she and rocker boyfriend Joel Madden returned to Los Angeles from a tour with his band Good Charlotte. However, doctors quickly assured the four-months pregnant Richie her baby is safe, but did encourage her to eat more to feed the unborn child. An insider tells American magazine Star, "Nicole was bleeding so much, it was really scary for her. "They found out she's suffering from both a hormonal and nutritional deficiency."
http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/richie%20rushed%20to%20hospital_1040102

An Opera in Three Parts... Act I: Dramatic Hospitalization; Act II: Wondrous Recovery; Stay Tuned for Act III
Opera superstar Luciano Pavarotti, diagnosed with cancer last year, is doing better after being admitted to hospital two days ago, his wife said on Friday. Pavarotti, 71, regarded by many as the greatest tenor of his generation, was taken to hospital with a high fever in his home town of Modena on Wednesday. He is being treated in the hospital's cancer ward. "He is doing better, thank you," Pavarotti's wife, Nicoletta Mantovani, who is 34 years his junior, told reporters as she left the cancer ward on Friday morning.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/08/10/pavarotti.hospital.reut/index.html

And if you haven't got your health, what have you got? Death...

I'll Take Dead TV Legends for 800, Please: R __ S T I N P __ A C __
His birth name was Mervyn, but the world knew him as Merv Griffin. The 82-year-old died Sunday after being hospitalized earlier in the week for a recurrence of prostate cancer. Born in San Mateo, Calif., Griffin created two of the most popular game shows in syndicated history. "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy!" remain in production more than two decades after they began. He even wrote the theme music for "Jeopardy!" Beginning in the early 1960's, Griffin was a fixture on daytime TV. The 32-time Emmy nominee actually escorted 17 golden gals home for his work on "The Merv Griffin Show," according to the official website for Griffin's company, The Griffin Group.
http://www.abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=3471627&page=1

Hazlewood Walked Over by Renal Cancer, Given the Boot from Life
Lee Hazlewood, the reclusive songwriter and producer behind a slew of hits by Duane Eddy, Nancy Sinatra, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin in the 1950s and 1960s, including Ms. Sinatra's No. 1 smash "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'," died on Saturday in Henderson, Nev. He was 78. The cause was renal cancer, said his publicist, Perry Serpa.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/07/obituaries/07hazlewood.htm

Wine Prolongs Lives; Heart Attacks End Them
Baron Elie Robert de Rothschild, who helped France's renowned Rothschild winemaking and banking dynasty recover from the ravages of World War II, died Monday while vacationing at his Austrian hunting lodge. He was 90. Rothschild had been on a hunting trip at his lodge near the Alpine village of Scharnitz outside Innsbruck when he suffered a fatal heart attack, police in the province of Tyrol said in a statement.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/08/06/europe/EU-GEN-Austria-Obit-Rothschild.php

No Word Whether He Died In Order to Promote MGM's Upcoming "Death at a Funeral"
Frank Rosenfelt, who as chairman and CEO of MGM Studios helped green-light such classic movies as Network and Doctor Zhivago, has died. He was 85. Rosenfelt died Thursday at his Los Angeles home, his granddaughter, Stacey Lubliner, told The Associated Press on Tuesday. She did not know the cause of death. Rosenfelt, a lawyer, joined MGM in 1955 after spending five years in the legal department of RKO. He became MGM's general counsel in 1969 and was named studio chief after mogul Kirk Kerkorian bought MGM in 1972.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2007-08-07-rosenfelt-obit_N.htm?csp=34

This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death
Happy Birthday to:
August 7: Walid Jumblatt (58)
August 8: Ronnie Biggs (78)
August 10: Doyle Brunson (74)
August 10: Tom Laughlin (76)
August 13: Fidel Castro (81)
August 13: Dan Fogelberg (56)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

Last week in this space, entrants' ages, maybe the most popular factor in deciding picks, was given a closer look. Since having an age is something everybody has in common, another look at the data is certainly appropriate. You might even learn a few new words in the process! As noted last week, the oldest pool pick is Ruby Muhammed, currently 110 years young, making her the lone supercentenarian (Age ≥ 110) in the pool. Joining her are 11 centenarians (Age ≥ 100), which means 4% of the pool is living life in triple digits. Of the remaining 269 with known birth years, as of today's date 59 entrants are nonagenarians, 79 are octogenarians, 67 are septugenarians, 28 are sexagenarians, 18 are quinquagenarians, 12 are quadragenarians, 3 are tricenarians, and 3 are vicenarians. As of today, the average age is 78.2; the median age is 81.

Reminding you that Death claimed 42,642 people on the road in 2006, we remain...

TWID - National Underwear Day Edition

This Week in Death brings you: A post midnight run at the swimming pool! Hop a fence with us and join in on the fun. Get your beach balls inflated and your swim trunks on. Jump in so we can catch you up on the veritable ocean of news you need to know to be an educated death pool competitor. Don't forget to bring a towel! Oh, and put on some sunscreen, we don't want you to end up in here. Death Pool has just been handed an urgent news story and it needs all of you to stop what your doing and listen... Cannonball!

We lost two of our own this week: Bill Walsh, who invented the West Coast offense, and Oliver W. Hill, who would have fought for his right to do it.


A Health is a guy who can't get no love, but he's also known as a buster....

Notorious B.I.G.G.S. Better Hope for "Life after Death"
Great Train robber Ronnie Biggs was feared close to death in jail last night. Biggs, 77, is in a specially designed "nursing home" for elderly prisoners at Norwich jail. And the prison chaplain is on standby to administer the last rites. He has skin cancer, heart trouble and MRSA. A family friend said: "Ronnie is ready to go free at last. He has put up a brave fight but his health has deteriorated so badly lately that he can't go on."
http://www.people.co.uk/news/tm_headline=train-heist-biggs-nead-to-death&method=full&objectid=19573281&siteid=93463-name_page.html

Otto Has a Case of the Jim-my Legs. Well, Leg, Really
Hall of Fame center Jim Otto recently had his right leg amputated and is recovering in a hospital in Utah. Otto, 69, has had a litany of health problems. He has had prostate cancer, two major infections that nearly killed him and approximately 40 operations - mostly on his banged-up knees from playing football. "It's been, as you know with him, a tremendous fight," Al Davis said. "He's lived through it now for three years, day in and day out. But it finally came. He fought the amputation. He didn't want it. He fought it. But there was no other thing to do but to amputate."
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/2007-08-01-4141235890_x.htm

Think LaLanne's Age Is a Problem? You Don't Know Jack!
Decades before the obesity epidemic, Jack LaLanne took his exercise crusade to the airwaves, showing Americans, who were just becoming enamored of television, how they could stay active while they watched their favorite programs. Moderation remains his mantra. His healthy habits -- and a few good genes -- account for his longevity. What he stumbled upon as a teenager and built as an adult have helped him to age well.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/food/orl-jacklalanne07jul31,0,6022683.story

Hole Singer Halved; She's Love-Sick

Rocker Courtney Love has alarmed fans with her skeletal figure. The once buxom singer wowed people with her figure when she lost 52 pounds earlier this year, thanks to a strict diet of protein shakes and minimal fish and vegetables. However, the singer seems to have taken her diet too far, for she's lost even more weight in the past few weeks, given her a gaunt look.
http://www.medindia.net/news/Loves-Skinny-Frame-Sparks-Health-Concerns-24502-1.htm

Living Till 150? Well, We've Heard You Can't Always Get What You Want
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is a well known rock 'n ' roll survivor, but his latest statement is pushing it somewhat. Keith told a magazine he wants to live till the age of 150. Keith, who had an operation on his brain last year after falling off a shrub, said that after a few tests the docs were surprised at the condition of his body."The doctors were amazed to see that the heart, liver, kidneys were all perfect," he said.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Bangalore_Times/Richards_to_roll_till_150_/articleshow/2255766.cms

Ryan Finds that Not Everything Goes in the Throat So Easily
A one-time Catholic priest who pleaded guilty to molesting a 6-year-old boy on Long Island slashed his throat the day before he was to go to jail. Barry Ryan, 59, survived the suicide attempt, said Suffolk County district attorney spokesman Robert Clifford. Ryan pleaded guilty in 2004 to sexual conduct against a child in the second degree for forcing the boy to perform oral sex the year before.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/08022007/news/regionalnews/molest_priest_cuts_his_throat_regionalnews_stefanie_cohen.htm

No, I don't want no death, a death is a guy who can't get no love from me...

Pottasch's Joy of Pepsi Didn't Stop Him from Making the Choice of a New Termination
Alan M. Pottasch, who became known as the "father of the Pepsi Generation" for leading the team that devised exuberant commercials in the 1960s and '70s that linked Pepsi-Cola to the likes of skydivers and skateboarders, died Friday in Los Angeles. He was 79 and lived in New Fairfield, Conn.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/02/business/media/02pottasch.html?_r=1&ref=business&oref=slogin

Death to B5, Death Takes Bishop; At Least He'll Always Have Paris
Cardinal Jean-Marie Lustiger, a Jew who converted to Catholicism and rose through church hierarchy to become one of the most influential Roman Catholic figures in France, died Sunday, the Paris archbishop's office said. He was 80. Lustiger was archbishop of Paris for 24 years before stepping down in 2005 at the age of 78. He died in a medical center in Paris, the archbishop's office said.
http://www.oregonlive.com/newsflash/international/index.ssf?/base/international-24/1186345750165490.xml&storylist=international

Gabler Was a Textbook Case of Affecting the Accepted Norm-a
Norma Gabler, a Texas homemaker who recoiled at material in her children's textbooks and became the public face of a crusade with her husband to rid schoolbooks of content they considered anti-family, anti-American and anti-God, died on July 22 in Phoenix. She was 84. The Gablers had a two-barreled strategy: in addition to pressing issues of ideology, interpretation and philosophy, the Gablers ferreted out errors of fact. But the Gablers' most important battles concerned bigger issues, like making publishers define marriage as a lifelong union between a man and a woman.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/01/education/01gabler.html?_r=1&ref=obituaries&oref=slogin

First Ingmar Bergman, then Michelangelo Antonioni... If We Were Roberto Benigni, We'd Stay Alert
Michelangelo Antonioni, one of Italy's most famous and influential filmmakers, has died at the age of 94, city officials in Rome say. Considered the cinematic father of modern angst and alienation, Antonioni had a career spanning six decades which included the Oscar-nominated "Blow-Up" and the internationally acclaimed "L'Avventura" (The Adventure).
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Movies/07/31/antonioni.obit.reut/index.html

This Week Was Somebody's Birthday! Whose Birthday? Some Death Pool Entrants' Birthdays. How Old Are They? 1,2,3... And Never been Kissed By... Death
Happy Birthday to:
August 1: Sheldon Adelson (74)
August 2: Peter O'Toole (75)
August 2: Shimon Peres (84)
August 4: Barack Obama (46)
August 4: Anita Page (97)
August 4: Helen Thomas (87)
August 5: William H. Smith (102)
August 6: Dom Mintoff (91)
... And Many More!!!!!!!!

Back by popular demand, the Commissioner's Council proudly brings you "Skinny Dipping," a weekly glance at some of the goings-on in the Pool. Columns will feature a more in-depth look at some of the squads and picks. To comment on this feature, or suggest an idea for "Skinny Dipping," feel free to send an email our way.

With this week's TWID introducing the new birthday section, Skinny Dipping felt it would be a good time to analyze a key aspect of the pool: entrants' ages. Of the 281 entrants (out of 283, but you knew that already) with known birth years, 11 entered the 2007 year over the age of 100. The oldest pool member is currently 110: Ruby Muhammed, Mother of the Nation of Islam. The youngest? Former football player Maurice Clarett, currently 23 years young. The average age of the 281 is 77.5 years old. What about the 28 (so far) points deaths? Glad you asked. The oldest death to register points was Charles Lane, who passed away after 102 years and 165 days of life. The youngest has been Marcheline Bertrand, who passed on at the age of 56 years, 263 days. The average age of the 28 coming into 2007 is (or, more accurately, was) 84.2 years old.

We're going to sit on the passenger's side of our best friend's ride
The Commissioner's Council